Sunday, November 8, 2015

Stressful ..... but such a great ending.

In March 2013 Jamie made it into Stellenbosch University for a Bachelor of Science Degree in Computer studies. Because of his excellent grade 11 marks, he was given an immediate place in res. Everything was sorted and sealed.
 I was extremely proud that he had successfully taken himself through High School and was now about to reap the rewards of an on-campus Varsity education. He was elated and keen to move away and have his independence.
(Jamie on left...... good mates off to Stellenbosch Uni.)

DUCK!.....Incoming curved ball
 .... Jamie then decided he was not going to study at Stellenbosch. He wanted to stay at home and do the same degree via correspondence. As a mom, I was quite relieved I'd have him a little longer. Boyd too was happy as Jamie had been working for him whilst he was studying and doing such a wonderful job. Boyd now entertained plans of Jamie continuing  to work for him as he studied at home.
Sorted! ...... NOT.
Jamie's friends left for Stellies and we noticed that he was feeling down. We also wondered if he was staying at home because of his girlfriend who had decided to study her degree via correspondence.
Boyd stepped in and we both put pressure on him to get his spot back in Stellenbosch and go.
And so he did.
Sorted..... NO!
Two weeks after being at Stellies he sent this email to Boyd.......

Hi Dad,
Please read this whole email sorry it’s so long.
Well I may as well just cut to the chase. I’m not happy. And I screwed up.
My screw up was saying yes to you when you asked me if I wanted to come to Stellenbosch. My screw up was letting you spend all that money getting me there when all I wanted to do was wait until Monday when our work arrangements started properly. My favourite day was right before I left when I was buzzing around doing work at clients. I had never been so excited or proud of what I was doing in my life. But I felt like I was failing you. I was so unhappy those last few days as you could probably tell. All I could think about was how disappointed you were that I wasn’t down in Stellenbosch with Sean and Joel.  So when you asked me if I wanted to go I told you yes. And it is the biggest mistake of my life. I know you always wanted me to go to University because you didn’t have the opportunity. I thank you so much for this opportunity but it is bitter sweet. I feel like I am living your dream down here and I am finally going to stop and say I cant do it. I cannot live the next 3 years or even next week doing something because my father wanted me to do it. I am so sorry to do this to you but I have a flight booked back on the weekend this week. I know you may absolutely hate me for this or even want to disown me for how I have done this. But all I want to do is be in business with you. I have looked up to you for years and all I’ve wanted to do was work with you, have you teach me and eventually take over the business. Instead I felt like I was just the joke of the family. The kid who was staying home to work because he wouldn’t go to university! I thought the only solution was to leave.  I know what I’m doing is wrong. Its more than wrong it borders on betrayal. But I’m coming home on Saturday. And I hope you will still love me after this. I know you spent upwards of R40 000 on me. By the end of this year you will have the entire amount paid back into your account. R20 000 by July and the other R20 000 by December. Don’t worry about a car, or a holiday or birthday presents or anything else, I don’t deserve it.
I will adhere to absolutely any rules you set for me and will work my ass off. Ill wake up at 5:30 everyday and take Codey and Tanna to school for you guys. I will continue to take codey to gym. I will start learning sales with you and help you out. I’ll even pay rent if you want me to. I just wanted to tell you because as my role model I feel like I am absolutely betraying you. But I have to do this. If you don’t want me in the house then just tell me. I will make a plan. Thank you for always being there. Im so sorry dad. But I just cant do this. This isn’t home sickness, and it has nothing to do with Brittany. She will be gone the following year to Malta or Pretoria. I know what direction I want to take in life and it doesn’t involve a degree. It involves being like you. I am still at lectures all day so please just whatsapp or email me. I don’t think I can handle a phone call yet anyway. Love you dad. Hopefully this is not the end of our relationship.

This letter gutted me.
SO..... he returned home.... we welcomed him back into our home and the business. Of course!
Fast track 2 years down the line and I honestly know he did the right thing.

He is working full time for Boyd, earning a salary of note, and clocking up mainly distinctions in his Computer Science degree. He is still totally in love with lovely Brittany after 2 and a half years.

Sorted...... Yip
(well for now at least. hehe)

So glad my boy stood up for what he felt was right for him.